the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
