we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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