Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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