Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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