Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize