The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
