Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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