My first STD was from a foam party
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
