So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize