She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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