we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
