2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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