Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
