I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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