let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
