i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
