so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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