he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
