Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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