Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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