I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
