i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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