me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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