Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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