one might say we're banned from that church
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
