Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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