the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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