Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
