As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
