Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize