in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
