Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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