Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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