i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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