I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
