Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
