I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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