there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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