we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
