so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
