That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
