Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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