none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just made out with a guy for $7.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
