he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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