So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
