I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
