do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize