Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
