she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
