I have demons in me.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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