i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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