But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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