once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
