Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
