Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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