I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
