If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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