She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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