Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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